I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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