Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he puts the penis in happiness.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
