Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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