forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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