Farmville is her only friend.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
