no, he came in my armpit
where does the pee come out of this thing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
