lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
