The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
