Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
