any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
