Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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