she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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