I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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