All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
