pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
