there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
