We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
