i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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