I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
