And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
