Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
