all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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