Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
