Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
