You really coming over, don't trick.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
