Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
