brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
