I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
