Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
