I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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