I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
