someone threw a dead crab at me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
