When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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