Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
