were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
