what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
