420 ftw
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
