they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
