i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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