Im at strip club and am horny
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
