He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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