Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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