Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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