guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
