i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
