I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Fuck appropriateness.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize