It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
