let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
