Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
