I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
